About 19 years ago, I was sharing a flat with my friend and long time comedy partner Daniel Dye. We were doing “The Odd Couple” together both on stage and off. For my birthday, my sister gave me a “singing and dancing Gopher” from the film Caddyshack. When you pushed the button, it would dance and sing “I’m alright! Nobody worries ’bout me…” Needless to say, both Dan and I hated that Gopher. Visitors to the flat loved to push that button…oh how they loved to push that button…
When the show closed (after what felt like 10 years but I think was only 2), Dan and I moved out and went our separate ways. However, there was one argument left unsettled: Who would wind up with the Gopher? Over the last 19 years, the Gopher has magically appeared in each other’s houses, on top of each other’s cars in parking lots, and sometimes inside our cars when we were foolish enough to leave our keys visible.
I brought the Gopher to the set of Rabbit Ears one day, and Dan’s wife Jennifer yelled “It can be on the set, but there is no way that F$#*#&@)$&*#ing Gopher is coming back into my house!” This was the ultimate bonus for me. It never even occurred to me how Jennifer would feel about the Gopher. Unasked for prank BONUS!! This past weekend, Dan and Jennifer came home to the Gopher sitting in their front doorway, with a scrapbook and attached letter in his hand. The photos you can see for yourself. The letter read:
“Dear Dan,
Thank you so much for sending me on vacation with Jeff. The last month has been a total blast.
We first visited London, where I got to take photos with the Royal Guards at Big Ben and the palace. The people at the Jack the Ripper museum were kind enough to even let me do photo ops inside of the exhibits! We saw the Tower Bridge, the Tower of London, rode the tube, visited the Sherlock Holmes museum (where Jeff and I took a Christmas Card photo), and rode the London Eye. I even had a traditional British breakfast for the first time!
Then it was on to Paris, where Jeff and I got to see his friend Heather’s show Crazy Horse. We also visited the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triumph (where we took great pains for a photo op in the middle of the street with constant traffic honking at us), and the Cathedral at Notre Dam.
We were then off to Ukraine, where I got to see the Motherland Statue of Freedom, Independence Square, the Potemkin Stairs, the Odessa Opera House, and so much more.
It was truly an educational experience.
I must admit, I also had a lot of cocktails, and did my fair share of hot tubbing. Needless to say, I am much better at holding my alcohol than I thought possible.
It wasn’t all fun and partying though. I was caught in a down pour at the Eiffel Tower and over the next few days started to grow mold. I was also wrapped up in Jeff’s sweaty hiking towel the majority of the time. And although he claims this was an accident, Jeff did leave me for a full (and very hot) afternoon inside his backpack with an open package of salami. As one last adventure, in the Frankfurt airport, Jeff sat me down inside a glass encased smoking room, just to get one last bit of ambiance of Europe.
It was a great trip, and one I’ll never forget. But I am so happy to return to where I belong: At home with you and Jennifer.
Much love,
The Gopher.”
jeffinukraine2016 