I first arrived in Paris at around 10pm, and so didn’t get a real start until the next morning. That “real start” was where any sane person would start: The Eiffel Tower. First of all, if you’re going to the tower, and you know when you plan to go, get your tickets in advance! I waited about 20 minutes to get inside. But those without tickets were waiting hours.
At the bottom of the tower there is a massive square with overpriced, crappy snack food, and some surprisingly tacky gift jobs. If you really want a model of the Eiffel Tower, just buy one from one of the dozens of guys on the street outside. Then you have two choices: Wait in line for the single lift that takes you to the top, or climb up. I am not an idiot, so I opted to wait for the lift. Once at the 2nd level, the views were pretty amazing. I noticed that they have put wire fencing up preventing people from jumping off. This prevented my boyhood fantasy of reenacting the escape sequence from the Bond film “A View to a Kill” and parachute off to safety. It also prevented me from reenacting the scene from “European Vacation” and throw a beret off it for a dog to jump out after (the dog was fine—he landed in the lake). I guess Paris knew of my love for film history and that I was coming.
And speaking of film history, they had some really neat exhibits on all the films that have been made at the tower. They also have some nice exhibits on the history of the tower. A few friends told me it was not worth it to wait in the hours long line to take the tiny elevator to the very top of the tower, so sorry to disappoint, but I declined that. Then, getting board, I decided that I was an idiot after all and walked down the stairs the entire length of the tower. I would say that was a really stupid thing to do, but I wasn’t done. Then I realized I had completely skipped an entire level, and instead of taking the lift up, I walked UP through the tower and spent time on the middle level and had a much deserved smoothie. I guess climbing up and down (or down and up) the Eiffel Tower is now something I can add to my achievements. It sounds crazy when I say it out loud…but don’t worry…it sounded pretty crazy while I was doing it.
A couple of other things about Paris that were interesting also come to mind before I wrap up on this city. First, there is a natural food store called “Picard,” which will please all you Star Trek fans out there. The Seine River was bright green…about the same shade they color the river in Chicago for Saint Patrick’s Day. It’s very pretty and relaxing all around the river, with beautiful bridges, side paths and such. The water itself was just odd to me.
I also visited the columned courtyard where they filmed the famous show down scene of Charade between Walter Matthau, Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant. So that was cool for me. There was also a strange, awkward experience between myself and the French Police when I went looking for the Paris Police Museum, not realizing it was INSIDE the police station…and trying to explain to the heavily armed police what it was I was doing there.
Oh, and I can’t forget Notre Dame. It was a neat building, but for being a religious place, it seemed to me not to be the most spiritual place ever. It seemed almost evil, with the climax being the souvenir coin machines throughout the place (you know, those machines where you put a penny in and a dollar and it will bend your penny for you?). I never quite understood those. Why should I be supplying my own penny? I just gave you a dollar! Well, instead of a gargoyle or whatever normal tourist places have imprinted, these imprinted a picture of the pope. I was tempted to get a few and randomly give them to people as presents. “Hey, happy birthday. Here’s a pope penny.” On the way out I couldn’t help but remember the tale in The Bible of Jesus getting angry and flipping over the table of souvenirs at the temple saying that inside a church is not where you should sell such things. Catholic Irony.
And that is Paris! Much more of my adventures to come…looking forward to it!
Jeff
Aug 15th, 2018
jeffinukraine2016 