Author: jeffinukraine2016

At 5am my taxi driver was waiting for me at my hotel in Paris to take me to the airport.  The airport was a little crazy, but I found my way to my flight.  I flew from Paris to Warsaw, had a quick layover there, and then flew into Kiev.  On a side note, I’ve always been interested in seeing Poland, but that will have to wait for another time.   My driver, Andrew, was waiting to pick me up when I arrived, and we had a great chat all the way to my hotel.

Andrew is originally from Crimea, and he moved to Kiev after the Russian annexation in 2014.  He says that he can still call his family, but that Ukrainians are no longer allowed to enter Crimea, so he cannot see his loved ones and they cannot leave Crimea now.  Very sad.  But it made me think…someone should really annex Wyoming (screw you Wyoming!).  I think the US would be much better off without that worthless state!  Maybe give it to Canada?

Once I arrived and checked in, I walked the 2 blocks to the Maidan Square, got as much of this crazy awesome dinosaur yogurt as I could fit in my backpack (I love this stuff WAY too much), and headed back to my hotel for some much needed relaxation.  I have a hot tub in my room…and through 8 days of hiking through London and Paris, all I could think of was soaking and relaxing.  As I got to my room, the protests started.  Protesters were in the square protesting Trump and his comments regarding the Virginia incident.  It never got violent, but was certainly loud.  People here really (and I mean REALLY) hate him.  Luckily, it seems to be personal and not a hatred of Americans in general, which I was happy to hear (no fake British accent for me the rest of the trip).   I started filling up the hot tub when the power went out in the building…so…no hot tub.  No nothing.  Great.  I went to bed.

The next morning I got up and there was still no power.  The front desk said the city cut off the power because of road construction, and that they were not sure when it would be back on.  The hot tub would have to wait.  Exhausted, with no electricity and worst of all no hot tub, I did the most logical thing:  went on a 6 hour hike.  I hiked through 4 different parks, saw some very pretty churches, monuments, and hiked along the Dnieper river.  It was actually a very relaxing and pretty day.  I was amazed:  Kiev wasn’t such a horrible place after all!

I ended up at the World War II museum, and this year was able to take photographs!  So that will be its own blog (so much to share with that one).   Now that the power is back on, I’m going to finally take advantage of that hot tub!  I would bring my laptop in and keep writing…but I have this thing against dying.  I’m looking forward to discovering more of the beautiful parts of Kiev because (and I know I’ve said this before but…) I am NEVER EVER coming back here ever again.

Jeff:  Aug 20^th, 2017

So…the Louvre.  Which is pronounced Loov.  Unless your name is Walter Hollander, and then it’s pronounced Loovray (little theater joke there).  I gave myself about 2 hours to see what the Louvre had to offer.  It took me 2 hours to get inside.

Outside, there are amazing mazes of fountains (which would have been even more amazing if it wasn’t pouring rain when I was there).  Once I got through the line and got inside, it was pretty incredible.  First of all…it is HUGE.  I spent about 5 hours inside.  I didn’t necessarily take photos of famous things, but more of the things I thought were the most interesting.  I’m assuming there are books and websites about the Louvre with photos from professional photographers for things like that.

My favorite part of the entire museum was the hall of statues.  It was incredible!  Just to imagine that these famous works of art I learned about in school were sitting right there in front of me!  There was so much to see, it was pretty daunting.  After a while, it got to be like “Oh, that’s just sort of famous, whatever.  Next!”  Like working in a donut shop where you are forced to eat one of each kind, it gets pretty crazy after walking through there for hours.

Besides the sculptures hall, there are a couple of things I wanted to point out.  First of all, there is a Colbert Pavilion.  Which I know, is sort of tacky and disrespectful of history that I find that so funny…but I do.  Also, one of the statues looks like Weird Al.  And before you ask, yes, I did see the Mona Lisa.  It was a very odd experience.  There is no line to see it…it’s just a giant room full of people in a circular mosh pit (similar to Mecca) pushing and jostling to get to the front.  I thought the spectacle was more interesting than the Mona Lisa itself.  I am not impressed too much by the Mona Lisa.  It’s ok…but there are SO many other works of art that I find more beautiful or inspiring.  I think there is something wrong with me.

After 2 hours in line and 5 hours mosh pitting with people inside, I was very happy to get out of there and get some fresh air.  I still don’t think I saw everything there was to see…but I came close.

I’m now in Kiev, which has been one CRAZY adventure!  You DO NOT want to miss that story!  Until then…

Jeff:  Aug 19^th, 2017

*This title was a lie.  There is actually no way to find your way out once inside.  It’s like a casino.

I decided to come to Paris just for one night by train to see a show that a friend of mine did choreography for.  However, as friends of mine told me all about the great times they have had here, I decided to change my travel plans to allow me to be here for two days (or technically a day and a half) to explore the city more.

When I first arrived at Hotel d’Albion, I was completely in love with the place.  It’s a small hotel (I’ve only seen two women working here the entire time…front desk, maid, breakfast waitress, etc).  It’s a lovely place, and I would highly recommend it (and their fabulous breakfast).  Upon checking in and unpacking, I took a stroll down to see the Arc de Triomphe, which is a famous landmark…but all I could think about was that flashback scene in Casablanca.  After that, it was time to see my friend’s show.

The Crazy Horse has been operating in Paris since 1952, and although I have seen routines from it on video before, seeing it in person was extraordinary.  My seat was right in the front row, and it was a great night.  The music was great, the dance routines ranged from comedic to ballet to mass musical…and it had great music and great lighting effects.  One of their routines was actually recreated in the Christina Aguilera film “Burlesque,” so you can get an idea of what it’s like by watching this link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YDPR5EoYqOs

It’s a show that is constantly evolving (adding routines, etc), so if I am ever back in Paris I will definitely go again.  Jazz music, funny routines and creative dance routines?  Count me in!

Thanks to a couple of friends with know-how, I was able to cover a lot of ground the 2^nd (and final) day.  Of course, I headed straight for the Eiffel Tower.  When I got there, it was pouring rain.  I was warned to not bother going up to the top of the tower (it’s a lot of money and a huge wait), so I just walked around the park…during a downpour.  So…that was the Eiffel Tower.  Eh.  I then went to the Louvre museum, but I am saving that for its own post (it deserves it).

My final stop was the Cathedral of Notre Dame.  I’m so glad I did that.  I didn’t go inside (the line was WAY too long and it was getting to be the end of the day), but the outside and park was very beautiful.  The river a few blocks away was so peaceful and just seemed to epitomize Paris.  I ate a fresh focaccia bread with mozzarella and tomato, while watching the river and listening to the sights and sounds.  It was the most relaxing time I’ve had this whole trip.

I don’t really connect with Paris.  They have amazing food (I’m not really a foodie), are known for fashion (my outfit today was an outfit I wear to the gym), and it is very pretty (but the same style of beauty as so many other European cities).  I really enjoyed my time here, but I guess I just don’t understand people’s passion for it.  But…who knows what would happen if anyone I knew came to Ukraine?  They’d probably say the same thing.

Speaking of…I leave in the morning for Kiev, Ukraine.  It’s hard to believe that I’ve been gone just one week, and it was a week that was just a whim and not really the bulk of my plans.  Now it’s time to get onto what I actually flew to Europe to do.  I have been hiking about 10 miles a day for the last 7 days, so I am looking forward to my in-room spa tub in Kiev!  Until then…

Jeff:  August 18^th, 2017

I loved London.  I loved how easy it was to ride the Tube.  Everyone I met was very nice and polite, and there was so much to see and do I only saw and did a fraction of the possibilities in my time there.   It’s a place I really wouldn’t mind living, actually.  I wouldn’t need to worry about having a car (have I mentioned I love riding the tube?), and it seems like a very pleasant place to live.  Sure, it’s a city, but it’s not absolutely crowded like New York or San Francisco.

With that said, if you’re planning on visiting, here is some advice:  Don’t trust GPS AT ALL for getting around.  If there is a landmark or place you’re looking to go to, just google what the closest Tube station to that location is, and then look at an actual map.   The reason I say that is because GPS will tell you the shortest route, but quite often that “shortest route” includes taking small alley ways or lanes to shave off 45 seconds (a small alley or lane that is not clearly marked or labeled).  I was using GPS for the first day, and after the 3^rd time of a 10 minute walking trip turning into almost an hour, I just gave up.  I found that googling the closest tube station, and then looking at a map and following main streets, in the end, was the easiest way to get around.

England has a VERY high tax rate, so keep that in mind.  There is a flat 20% tax.  Soda is especially expensive (I only bought one once to stay awake during a play-see previous blog about theater).  A 20 ounce bottle of soda will cost you about $4, whereas a sandwich will cost $5 or so.   Their cigarette packages are AWESOME (google image search that–you won’t regret it).   If you’re going to the theater, buy your tickets in advance (even once you buy your airfare) and you will get much better seats.  And never start a land war in Asia.

Also, I was there for 4 days, and only got to see less than half of what I wanted to, so I would suggest going for at least a week.  I mean, the cost of the plane ticket and the time to fly here…you might as well take real time out to enjoy and experience it.  I only tagged London onto a trip to Ukraine on a whim, as an afterthought.  Don’t make the same mistake I did:  If you’re flying all the way out here, take the time to really experience it.  Just tag on a trip to Ukraine instead. 🙂  And take my word for it:  It is SO worth the trip!

Cheerio!

Jeff:  Aug 17^th, 2017

I had the great fortune to see three different theatrical performances here in London, and to tour an additional fourth theater.  It’s probably easier if I just break it down one by one.

Drury Lane Theater Tour:  This theater was playing 42^nd Street, which I had no desire to see whatsoever.  But I was told I HAD to take the theater tour, so I did.  And now I’m telling you all that you also HAVE to take the theater tour.  The two tour guides took turns leading the tour while playing real life historical theatrical figures, which was so fun!  The theater is the oldest theater still standing on planet Earth.  It was built in 1660 and has been running plays continuously ever since.  In the theater they had statues of Shakespeare, famous actors, the inventor of modern acting, and the inventor of the first musical.  There are two royal boxes (instead of the standard one box) for the royal family because at the time it was built the King and the Prince couldn’t stand each other.  They even had separate entrances to the building!  I also got some great insight into some theater terms that I never learned in school.

Props:  This originated from the fact that the audience used to actually sit on the stage during performance.  The higher the social stature, the closer to the stage you got…and the very highest in stature got to sit on the stage.  However, these noblemen would often steal souvenirs from the play, so the producer wrote on everything “property of the theater.”  And that’s where the word prop comes from.

Naval Officers:  A lot of theater terms are also nautical ones.  That’s because when sailors docked on the Thames, while the cargo was offloaded and sold, they would work as stage hands in the theater.

They also told stories of a few ghosts that have been seen in the theater throughout the years.  Spooky!

Hamlet:  I couldn’t wait to see this play with Andrew Scott as Hamlet.  He was superb.  Sometimes he would say a line in a way that was absolutely hilarious, although most of it was played seriously.  He was so, so good.  The set was modernized, and very minimalist, which worked really well as the attention was on the actors.  It was a sold out performance, and I was front and center for the action.  Andrew Scott came out after the performance and thanked us all for coming.  It was a remarkable show, that really showed Scott’s versatility.

The Mousetrap:  I have seen this show done a bunch of times, but it was a treat to see it on the London stage.  The set was incredible.  The actors and actresses all played their parts perfectly.  Nothing spectacular about the performances, but nothing bad either.  Just good solid acting.  The theater it is running in (The St. Martin Theater) has been running The Mousetrap non-stop since 1952!  Every performance breaks the Guinness book of world records for most consecutive performances of a play.  The theater itself was built in 1916…so it was fun to just walk around and look at it during intermission.  And if you haven’t seen it, it’s a great, fun play by Agatha Christie.  Good stuff at any level of acting.  Look for it in community theaters in your area.

An American in Paris:  My friend Anna surprised me with tickets to this on my last night here.  This musical basically represents everything I hate about theater.   She had to keep poking me all through the first act to stay awake.  It’s a musical on a very grand scale, with a full orchestra and in a theater that seats around 3,000…and it was completely sold out.  We were sitting up at the very top…but it wouldn’t have mattered if we were in the front row:  I hated this play.  The acting was great, the dancers were great, the special effects were phenomenal…the songs sucked, the story line was almost non-existent…and for no reason after every dialogue scene there was like 15 minutes of interpretive dance that acted out what had just happened.  Looking at the program I saw the finale was a song I actually liked, “They Can’t Take that Away From Me), but they did somehow even manage to take that away from me, because they shortened it to only one chorus (not even a verse).  So…if you’re into lots of interpretive dance with great costumes and special effects, this is the show for you.

Even so, just to sit in one of these theaters is a blessing and a joy.  It’s made me miss the theater so much (it’s been almost 10 years since I left the stage doors behind me for good).  It was just so wonderful to see these shows and be inspired.

I still have one more general blog about London…I’ve been falling behind like crazy.  Speaking of an American in Paris, my train for Paris is leaving in about 2 hours…so it’s time to say goodbye to London and head on to a brief croissant adventure.  Until  then…

Jeff:  Aug 16^th, 2017

Completely not on my list at all (I didn’t even know about it before I left), I took a friend’s advice and spent the day at the Imperial War Museum, which featured a very large and high tech exhibit about WWI, and a smaller less technical exhibit about WWII.  I guess they figured either everyone had heard of that one, or they just haven’t gotten around to upgrading it yet.

The detail and interactions were incredible.  I highly recommend it.  I took a bunch of videos of the interactive displays, but I can’t show the videos here (I will post them to facebook once I get home).  Some things about WWI that I didn’t know (and I just finished a hellish history class on WWI and WWII) was that Britain had little to no actual army when it began.  Being an island nation, their main military was Navy.  So it took about two years to build the armory and recruit and train the soldiers for combat.  In fact, they were on the verge of losing the war when America and Canada joined the fight.  The mass amounts of pure ammunition, in the end, was what won out.

At the end of the war, they basically blamed Germany for the entire thing and completely screwed them, destroying the German economy.  That shattered economy led to…you guessed it, the rise of the Nazis and WWII.  I won’t go into a long history lesson here, but the museum was so amazing.  And the best part was that it was free!!!  I would recommend it for the technological displays alone.  The message of the museum was very clear:  Educate yourself on history to preserve peace for the future.

One clear take away from this museum was that WWI started because, in certain countries, distribution of wealth was so inept that 1% of the population in countries like Germany and Austria held 99% of the money and power.  The people revolted by supporting nationalist leaders who were ill-equipped to run the country and in some cases were probably certifiably insane.

One clear take away from WWII is that, due to the horrible treatment of Germany after WWI, their country was left in economic ruin, with only the 1% most wealthy being able to survive.  The people revolted by supporting nationalist leaders who were ill-equipped to run the country and in some cases were probably certifiably insane.

I’m really glad we’re able to learn from history and learn from these mistakes.  Like a play…the first act is income inequality, the second act is a political party coming to power as the people hope they will change that inequality, but in fact the new leaders are oligarch insane people bent on power with very little to no skills at governing or working with other foreign leaders.  And the third act is some crazy war that ends with the needless deaths of millions of people.  Hmm….I feel like I’m in the middle of act II.  Can I return this play to the library and just check out a Barenstein Bear book?

Speaking of plays, I’ve been seeing a bunch and wanted to wait to put them all into one blog!  Until then…

Jeff:  August 15^th, 2017

Not much more to write about the Tower of London, but here are the last 50 or so pictures I took in the 6 hours I spent there.

So, a lot of people said that while I’m in London, I have to see The Tower of London.  It wasn’t really high on my list of things to do, but I was up early and didn’t have much to do until 4pm today, so I figured “what the heck?”  I banked on it taking me about 2 hours to go through.

6 hours later I was walking to the tube saying out loud “That was freakin’ awesome!”  Only I didn’t use the word “freakin’.”  (Yes, I stole that from Guardians of the Galaxy, but it seemed appropriate, right?  It’s not like I left the Sherlock Holmes museum and yelled “Look at me!  I’m Mary Poppins, y’all!”  But now that I think of it, that would have been pretty hilarious).

So, the only thing I knew about the Tower of London was that the crown jewels are stored there.  And the only reason I knew that was because in the 1880’s Professor Moriarty tried to steal them but was stopped by Sherlock Holmes (brilliantly reenacted by Basil Rathbone in the 1939 documentary “The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes)*.  So yes, the crown jewels were there and I got to see them.  They were super protective about nobody taking photos, though.  In fact, this guy near me took a photo and security literally grabbed him and took him out of the room.  And the tower does have torture chambers, so I am sort of scared for that guy.

Yes, it has an entire chamber of torture devices like the Rack (which pulls arms and legs apart).  It also displayed a device that did the opposite (compressed the body) and a slew of other really dark devices I won’t go into (and I didn’t take photos of these either–sorry).

The entire place is a city fortress (as you can see from the pictures here).  Lots of stairs to climb, lots of views, amazing history.  They had all military armory displayed throughout the centuries, and a reenactment of how the Tower was used during WWI to ready soldiers for battle.

There was also a very peaceful religious side to the place, with numerous courtyards and chapels constructed in different eras (and for different religions).  I think I’ve said enough about it…I’ll let the pictures speak for themselves.  BUT. IT. WAS. AWESOME.  If you’re ever in London, I highly recommend it.  And if you have any questions about any of the pictures, just let me know.  I could go on and on and on…

My blogs so far have been on major topics, so my next one will be sort of a collage of all the smaller adventures I’ve had (and will have tonight) that I haven’t even touched on yet…so stay tuned!

A brief word as well:  WordPress is not loading up all the pictures I took at Tower of London, so I’m hoping to set up a separate entries with all of the pictures.  These are roughly half of them.

Oh, and if I were alive in 1953, I would have totally dated Queen Elizabeth II.  She was SO cute!

Jeff:  August 14^th, 2017

*Again, just a joke.  I know Sherlock Holmes was a fictional character.

I spent the latter half of the day in Whitechapel.  Whitechapel is a VERY odd place.  They have taken great pains to keep a lot of the old West End’s hovels and cobbled roads intact for historic purposes, but a lot of the city was destroyed in WWII and has been rebuilt.  And the rebuild looks like downtown New York.  So, you have these little cobble stone alleys with old rundown apartment houses and saloons, mixed in (and I do mean within the same block) with these modern sky scrapers.  Very odd place indeed.

I started off with a tour of the Jack the Ripper museum.  I gave myself about 2 hours there, and it took me about 30 mins to go through it all.  It was a very interesting place (with reenactments and copies of police reports, letters from the killer, etc.).  Pretty dark stuff, but I knew what I was getting into.  What hit me the most was the mortuary room, where I think they did a very good job of immortalizing and respecting the victims, rather than making the Ripper seem like a hero or someone to idolize (in some sick way).

I then went on a Jack the Ripper tour, which I admit was a letdown in some ways, and also unbelievably extraordinary.  Our host (Johnny), was very entertaining and did a good job keeping us entertained during the 2 hour (yes, 2 HOUR) hike through Whitechapel, visiting all of the sites of the killings.  An interesting fact that I did not know:  There was (and still is) a separate London government and police force just outside of Whitechapel that is completely independent of the British Monarchy.  He joked “If the Queen were to come on my tour—and unfortunately she never has, but I keep hoping—the head of the London City government could come and escort her out of the city.”  Because there were actually two separate police forces investigating (depending on where the murder was committed), it made it even more difficult to catch the killer (even though all of the murders took place within a short walk of each other.

The reason why I was disappointed was that it was billed as a “Hologram tour” that let you see actors and actresses in holograms reenacting the incidents.  But since it is summer, it was never dark enough to actually use the technology, which was the only reason why I took the tour in the first place.  However, Johnny was a very entertaining tour guide and I had a great time.  I especially loved at the end, how he told us the most important thing to take away from the tour were the lives and tragedies of the victims themselves, repeating each of their names and showing each of their pictures again, instead of fantasizing about who the Ripper is.  He also explained a lot about the different detectives and how he respected Inspector Abberline the most (he also highly recommended the 1988 TV series starring Michael Cain as Abberline).  In the end, I was happy to have done it, and hope to check out that TV series (Johnny could be very convincing).

Jeff:  Aug 13^th, 2017

“Watson, sugar free candy is a hoax perpetuated by Norwegian politicians.  Also, it tastes terrible.”

As you probably guessed, today was all about Sherlock Holmes.  My love for Holmes began when I read “The Hound of the Bakervilles” in 7^th grade.  For my birthday in 8^th grade my parents got me the entire works of Arthur Conan Doyle.  I have read that book a dozen times since.  My love for everything Holmes led me to write three Holmes stage plays (all produced—and one with a revival).  We’ve done three Holmes related episodes of Rabbit Ears* with a fourth on the way, and I’ve finished a Holmes novel that my editor appears to be happy with.

In short, I love Sherlock Holmes.  I started the day with my new friend Anna, as we took a long journey out to just take a picture of the outside doorway of the new Sherlock series.  Who other than a die hard would do that?  Then I went off by myself to attend the Sherlock Holmes museum at 221B Baker Street.

At the museum, I got my ticket and then waited in line for almost 2 hours to get in.  At Disneyland, the Peter Pan ride inexplicably always has a long line…but I think I figured it out:  It takes place in London.  However, once inside it was great!  Although they had to recreate it because the real Sherlock Holmes (who only used the pen name Doyle) didn’t actually live at 221B Baker Street, they did a great job. **

They had both Holmes and Watson’s bedrooms on display, as well as the famous study with all of the famous props (the skull, the slipper with tobacco inside, the VR fired on the wall, etc).  They also had rooms that reenacted famous cases with wax figures (Red Headed League, The Man with the Twisted Lip, etc).  Of course, every good museum ends with a gift shop, and I got a Sherlock Holmes bust for my desk to always remind me that “once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”  A concept I actually have all the time while working.  Outside the museum as also a great statue of Holmes.  I passed by a couple from India arguing whether or not he was a fictional character.

I also went to eat at the Sherlock Holmes pub, but the waiting list (even for 1) was too long for me, but they did let me look around and it was pretty neat.  On all the walls they had pictures of famous Holmes and Watson duos (including my favorite – Jeremy Brett and Edward Hardwicke).   Walking by the pub, I stumbled onto Trafalgar Square—crazy bit of luck!  Some great statues, a cool looking museum (which I wish I had time to visit) and some international bicycle race they were filming for tv.

They also had a cool Beatles shop down on Baker Street, but I either didn’t want to buy something cheap and tacky, or didn’t want to spend the money on some things I thought were really cool (I’m not THAT much of a Beatles fan, after all).

And that is only half my day today.  But the rest will have to wait for another blog.  Until then….

Jeff:  August 13^th, 2017

*Not so subtle plug for my television show!  But we really do have 3 (soon to be 4) Holmes episodes!

**OF COURSE I know Sherlock Holmes is a fictional character.